I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize