Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
