This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
