ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
