Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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