im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
