just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
