alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
