Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
it's like iHOP with fire
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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