She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
