im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
