Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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