K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize