um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
