Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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