I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
