I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize