Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
