her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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