Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
