She said her name was "party"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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