I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
