I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
