Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
