So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I will be naked everywhere
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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