no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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