Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize