it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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