went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
