tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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