I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
