Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
