then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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