I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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