So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
