Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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