Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
