What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
