Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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