So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
