okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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