..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
