There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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