she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
