I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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