Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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