and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
