he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
