She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
