At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Couch. On fire.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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