Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
