Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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