So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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