people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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