I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
