Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
