I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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