I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
