guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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