A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
