Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
