She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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