She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
