got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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