This girl is more easily done than said...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize