just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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