is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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