I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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