Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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