I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think i got beer on your cat.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
