So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
